A Manly Thing

How come everything seems centered around men? I mean it’s all about men. A lot of terminology has to do with men. Us guys are seemingly mentioned in many terms. If I mention any, please feel free to fill me in.  Here are some examples:

“Oh Boy”

“Oh Man”

“Oh for Pete’s sake”

or how about “Hey Guy”

“Hey Dude”

“Bob for apples”. You don’t hear “Oh for Susan’s sake do you?

Here’s one that always baffles me: “Hysterectomy” Why can’t it be herterectomy? Nooo!  It’s all about the dude. What does “he” have to do with it?

Try these on for size and I will keep them clean…just use your imagination however:

“Don’t be a Dick.” Or “Mark you spot” or “Dad’s old Fashion Root beer.”

How about “I’ll Bill you”… again another male name is mentioned in what we appear innocent.

Here’s another classic I can relate to: “Bob for apples”. Why not Eric or Debbie for apples”? I know, Hustlin Bob Higgins has way to much time on his hands or mind but just think about it. Maybe, but it’s fun.

“I’ll Grant you this or that”. Why not “I’ll Debbie you this or that?” No, again it’s all about us men. But don’t fret none ladies. Your time is coming.

Now I’m sure everyone has heard about “Bobbysocks”? See, another guy term. Hey, I’m having fun with this. Try this one on for size; “Tomcat”.  No, it can’t be Susan cat. That would be weird. This whole thing is weird but you are reading it so there you go.

“You don’t know Jack,” or Jack is stuck on the roof so let’s go help “Jack off the roof” (pardon the pun) before he gets the shingles.(Get it? Shingles) or “Lumber Jack”. “Jack”hammer works too. It sure beats “Deanna hammer.”

And remember playing this game in the water when you were young and even up to and including the present…”Marco…Polo” Actually it was just as cool as chicken fights.

I know Hemorrhoids is a common term. Why not just rename them Asteroids? There is even Menopause. Again, it is affiliated with a male.Here’s one I have to include: “I have to use the John.”  How would you like to be a Place”Matt”? All this gives all you readers some reading material while “jacking around at work surfing the net instead of doing what you are supposed to do at work.  One of my favorites are the “Pillsbury Dough Boy.” What happened to the Pillsbury Dough Girl?” I know now. She came down with a yeast infection and the Dough Boy” took over the reigns for her. What a nice visual…

We all have heard of an “Affidavit.” Again a man’s name is there. David. I know someone out there has said “Johnny come lately” at some point. He is never on time. The male species is dominating our vocabulary and rules over all jargon. Did I bring up “Craig’s List.”

Well, the female species is not left out here: There is “Patty wagon”, “Lazy Susan“, (get off your ass and do something “Susie Q”). Don’t forget “Angie’s list” or referring to the flower of course, “Daisy” or “Rose.” I even seen hospitals use something called “Kim wipes.”  Now, I ask you is this unisexual? Kim is both a male and female name spelled the same way. Does anybody out there have a “Tomcat?”

That’s all for now on this special Manly thing but “Bea’ sure to hustle back for more fun and movie reviews…

Hustlin Bob Higgins