So I had a doctor appointment just recently. I was asked an array of questions from her. Yes, finally a female physician I can adamantly enjoy getting naked in front of. Please ask me to turn my head and cough. I’d even be happy to move the one on my neck for that matter. After she felt my pulse, said she needed to check out my system. I’m thinking, hmm…what system are we referring to?

 It all started out when I inadvertently mentioned to her I drove my brand new car there. A Saturn. When the doctor first mentioned she needed to check out my system, I like to refer to it as my solar system. While I was there to get a physical, and by a pretty nurse, my adrenalin is already flowing with enthusiasm. Excited beyond hard, and stiffer that an two day old corpse on Viagra, I am sitting on the cot draped with only a thin gown and ready to start a seance with it. She needed to check my “stuff” which is located in my southern atmosphere. I assumed my position and she, hers. There was a heads up of some cold gel to be applied near Uranus and before I knew it, I immediately received an expedited comet trip to the Moon. OMG, she was hotter than a naked nun in the Sun.

The next thing I knew, King Neptune was performing that seance. Well, on the way to the moon, I looked over at Jupiter from a great distance and would you believe I got mooned 4 times? I even was able to look down at Jupiter, Florida and wave. I did this as I was chowing down on my Mars bar.

Hey, getting a free ride to the moon just doesn’t come around that often and that makes me hungrier that Pluto could ever be. Hell, he just eats and breeds doggy style. But do you know what I discovered? I think Pluto likes Saturn because he gave her all those fancy rings. Dude, that is sweeter than my Mars bar and Milky way combined.

Well, my quickie excursion exploring the outer limits of the solar system is almost over and it’s time for me to come back down to Earth, asteroid free. It was a nice trip even though I was a little perturbed of how the Big Dipper was screwing with the Little Dipper with drops of Jupiter in his head. Thank you, Train. By the way, that exam yielded me no flowers, drinks or dinner, but at least I got high. I so wanted to play Neil Diamond’s “Play Me” song .”You are the sun, I am the moon, you are the tune, play me…”

This is Hustlin’ Bob Higgins and I need to leave this table and get dressed so the next space cowboy can have his turn. This has been a special 8 star exam.

By Hustlin Bob Higgins and I am out of this world.

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