Everyday, no matter where we go we almost always hear a conversation start out with ‘Hey.’ Or even when someone is approaching you or calling to you, there is always a “hey, you” to start with. So, let me explore this and have a hey day with it. You know I can and I will because I have Hay fever.

Hay is for alot of things. Horses eat it and we go for hay rides as well. There is even the straw that broke the camel’s back. That must have been one hell of a heavy-ass straw. And remember the scarecrow? He’s made out of hay or straw. You see, straw and hay can be one of the same and easily be confused. But then I look at it with different meanings. There is hey and then there is hay. But what the hay? Same pronunciation but different spelling and meanings.

Lets not confuse straw with a straw. Now, I have your attention. I’m talking about the kind of straws you drink from and not the kind you make bail with. You make bail with hay too. But if you go to jail, you will have a tough time trying to make bail with hay. You just can’t go to a landscaping place and ask for a straw. You might get what you ask for. And trust a hustler on this one. Their kind of straw does not fit to well in a drink. Not to mention it probably tastes funny too. Just like eating a clown.

Then there are strawberries. But why if they start off with ‘straw’ are they not made with or from hay or straw? I can see it now as one would walk into say, Lowes for example, and ask for a bail of strawberries. And would it fit in your bag or car? Would you need a pitchfork to handle it? Lots to think about, but hey or hay, that’s on you.

Lets draw straws to see who wins that one. Heck, if you save up enough of those drinking straws you have accumulated over the years, you should have plenty to make a straw hat from. And, hay, that would be the last straw just like the Monkees theme song title: “Hey, Hey, we’re the Monkees.” It could be changed to “Hay, Hay, we’re the Monkees.” Either way you look at it, there’s a vowel involved.

Well, it’s time to hit the hay so this is the last straw. But first, I need to look for that famous needle in that famous hay stack and feed my horse a bail of hay because that is the last straw. But whatever you do, don’t ‘line’ up anything illegal with those straws. No thank you please, it only make me sneeze.

by Hustlin Bob Higgins